It’s been so long since I’ve felt like I could just sit down
and write and of course the main force for my sudden burst of inspiration, is
heartbreak.
Unfortunately, this heartbreak wasn’t by a boyfriend, even
though he did have potential.
No, this was by someone I’ve known since I was a child.
This is a person I grew up with and spent a large part of
the last few years living in Florida with.
This is a person, who 16 years later still remembered quirky
things I did as a little 8-year-old girl.
This is a person I had the biggest crush on the entire time
I knew him.
This is also a person who, although separated, was still
married.
I ignored one of my cardinal standards of talking to someone
with the intention of being in a
relationship.
NEVER FUCK WITH A MARRIED MAN.
Even if they’re separated and in the process of divorcing.
Unless its finalized, don’t mess with the, because there’s always that
possibility, they’ll go back. Of course, the one time I break my own rule, it
happens and it has left me emotionally broken.
In 6 months, I rekindled a friendship, fell in love with one
of my childhood best friends, then lost him all over again. I wake up from a
dream and think he’s there, but I realize he’s not. He’s 6,000 miles
away…with
his wife. It’s like a kick in the stomach.
I don’t feel like it was a whirlwind romance, there was truly
something special there. Perhaps at a different time in our lives would have
blossomed. I’m grateful for what I felt because it’s what I’ve been looking
for, for years. I just hope I can find it again one day.
